This is the Last Time
by Sukunami
Summary: (SxS) Eventual Lemon, AU - Squall and Seifer meet up in the real world ~ COMPLETED on my site with five parts and lemony scenes
1. Default Chapter

This is the Last Time  
August 2002

Hitching up the backpack for better placement on his shoulder, the young brunette opened the glass door and quickly stepped inside. Stormy eyes scanned the cafe as he walked forward, relieved to note that the afternoon rush had yet to really begin. Looking ahead, he saw the top of a head as the person reached for something in a lower cabinet.

"Leanne. Sorry for being late."

"Squall?" The woman stood up from behind the counter and brushed a length of platinum aside from her face that had just barely begun to wrinkle in her age, laugh lines strangely being her pride and joy. "What are you doing here already? I thought you had a makeup exam to take."

"It took longer than I thought."

She spared a glimpse at her watch. "You do realize it typically takes students hours to finish a mid-term, not twenty minutes."

He frowned. "It took twenty-five."

Leanne simply smiled and shook her head. "Go change. Your fans should be in at any moment."

His face neutral, he walked into the back room to leave his bag and take off the school uniform in exchange for jeans and a loose black long sleeve shirt. Running a hand through thick brown locks, Squall returned to the front to grab a tan apron just as the door opened with the sound of giggling. Ignoring the older woman's grin, he poured several glasses of water to take to the table of regulars.

"Hey, Squall." It was said at various times by equally high pitched voices.

He looked coolly at the young girls. "The usual?"

After hearing the four affirmatives and one 'not today', he strode back to the counter as the sound of squeals ('he knows our usual!') and chatter followed him. Squall was determined one of these days to discover exactly what he did to cause such fans and immediately break that habit. Unfortunately, he was coming to the conclusion that he could flip them off and they would faint in joy at the 'offering'.

"Well, have you gotten any responses about college yet?"

He grabbed three large glasses and a bowl from the rack to start making the desserts. "I never applied."

"What? Sweetie, I told you that with your grades you should be able to get scholarships easy enough. I thought I talked you into at least submitting a few applications."

"My time can be better spent. Anyhow, it's not like a bachelors automatically gets you a better job these days."

"You can't fool me. I know you enjoy learning those random subjects, and what better place than college?"

"The public library will suit me fine."

"I'd just hate to see you wasted here. You have such a good mind--"

"No, memory. There is a difference."

With a sigh, Leanne gave up the battle with it heading into one of their unending arguments. No matter what the woman thought, Squall actually had a vague plan in mind for the future and college just couldn't fit into those plans. Once school ended in a few months, he would take a second job and spend his time saving up money until he could potentially become part owner of this small cafe. Squall always managed to find comfort in this one place and he wanted to make certain it would always be around for him.

After quickly delivering the group of girls their desserts, he turned to take an order from a recently seated couple.

"Go ahead, dear. I'm still trying to remember what I had last time."

"It was the roast beef special."

The man looked up at the brunette in part surprise. "You know, I think you're right. Give me that."

"And I'll have a Caesar salad."

Squall nodded and walked back to the counter. His memory was his pride and bane. It was certainly useful both here and at school, but it typically made other people believe him intelligent while he knew that wasn't the case. He could repeat every written word of Shakespeare, for instance, but he didn't have the ability to explain the meaning of the those words. Luckily cliff notes generally helped him writing essays covering such topics to replace whatever he didn't catch from class. But in the end, it annoyed him that he couldn't find his own words.

The day went smoothly into night as the customer flow was a bit larger that evening despite it being a weeknight. By the talk, it appeared to be due to the opening night of some play. Squall silently found it a bit amusing to see a relatively large number of people in fine dress coming into the cafe along with the regular group of college students, all of them sharing the need for a boost of caffeine to make it through the night.

With her typical brisk walk, Leanne came up from the farthest corner. "You've got another admirer, sweetie. The guy at the end of the row wants to try and con some coffee secrets out of you."

Resisting a roll of the eyes, Squall pushed up from the counter to make his way to the booth. It was another bane in his existence - he couldn't cook or bake anything beyond a bowl of ramen, but his coffee was somehow worthy of worship according to many. He hated coffee.

In the dim light, he first set eyes on the man's date for the night. She was wearing a lightly colored dress, simple but perfect on her slim form. A barely touched piece of chocolate cake sat in front of her as she played with her necklace, giggling at whatever comment the man had made. Dark eyes shifted to the approaching man as she straightened in curiosity. Used to the not so subtle look over, Squall ignored it and stood in front of the table.

"I was told you wish to speak with me."

And then he was staring into light green eyes filled with amusement. Just after registering short blonde hair and a conniving smirk, there was a flash of white as his chest suddenly throbbed with pain. Images appeared before his eyes that may or may not have been opened. The pictures would last long enough to identify the shapes as a face or a creature or a scenery, but then gone again with the same painful white flash before anything could be potentially recognized or understood. The haphazard slide show was hurting him in a way Squall couldn't relate to, only wanting it to end before...

That's when he realized the fear raking his body, causing his heart to constrict. He didn't want to see any of this, didn't want to understand it. But despite the increasing speed of the images, he could feel himself somehow putting the random pieces into a kind of order. Into a story.

He yelled for it to stop.

* * *

Trying in vain to look relaxed, the blonde leaned back in the chair with his arms crossed to hide clutched hands. He was alone in the room except for the unconscious boy that was currently stretched out on a ratty couch. Seifer wasn't happy. Here he was enjoying excellent coffee with his date after a well done play, ever so close to convincing Rinoa into spending the night with him, and this boy has some kind of attack right in front of their table. Unquestionably the mood had been shattered. After sending the dark-haired beauty home in a taxi, he tried to convince the cafe owner to let him take the boy to a hospital. She refused, stating that 'Squall' would have a fit if he woke up in a strange room.

"Not like he didn't already have a fit, or anything," he muttered into the room.

And so Seifer decided to stay until the kid woke up, just incase there could be a possible lawsuit in this somewhere. Like hell he needed another 'situation' for his father to rail on him for.

Watching the sleeping boy, Seifer was continually catching himself admiring some finer points of the body - the lean figure, lightly darkened skin, lush lips - before digging nails into the palms of his hands. A steady mantra of 'male jailbait' formed in his head. Attempting logic, he decided it was only because his night of physical pleasures was interrupted that he held any sexual notions concerning this kid.

At the sound of a quiet moan, Seifer refocused on the boy's face. Eyelids fluttered open as blue-gray orbs were revealed into the bright light of the room. Abruptly he sat up and seemed to stare at a point through and beyond the large man in front of him. Seifer cleared his throat before he was about to start into his mentally rehearsed speech. He was interrupted.

Long fingers raked into blonde hair as Seifer was pulled closer to the brunette. The same lips that he had stared at for a ten minute stretch at one point were suddenly against his in a soft but forceful press. There was a soft call in his head to break off the kiss, but then it was silenced when moist warmth sneaked its way into his mouth. As the teen drew in the upper lip, his tongue angled up to stroke the bit of skin connecting lip and gum. Shivers of pleasure traveled along Seifer's spine as the brunette attacked the sensitive point. It was as if he knew exactly what made him crazy.

With that thought, Seifer finally jerked back from the teen and took a couple deep breaths. "Have we met?"

His eyes narrowed in thought, and then a haze seemed to lift from them. "No."

With the curt response, the boy stood up from the couch and made way for the door. Seifer grabbed an arm as he passed, but was unable to force him to sit back down. He made a mental note of that the lean body was rather deceiving in its strength.

"Listen, I think you should go to the hospital. You had a pretty bad attack out there and you've been unconscious for almost two hours."

"I'm fine."

Instinct told Seifer not to believe him. "What, are you afraid of doctors or something?"

He eyed the blonde a bit, then yanked his arm from the grasp. "It's none of your business."

Realizing his appearance, Seifer took a guess. "Is it the money? I can foot the bill for you."

That earned a glare in response before he restarted his exit.

"The name is Seifer, by the way."

He paused in the opened doorway. "Squall," and he left, letting the door close on its own.

Still sitting, Seifer leaned back in the seat and licked his lips - they tasted faintly of chocolate and coconut. He couldn't resist a smirk in the empty room at the idea of finding new prey that appeared deliciously contrary in his actions and words. While his rare of experiences with men left much to be desired, he felt something different this time around. Some kind of... comfort with this teen. He frowned as his thoughts continued to the reaction of the boy. Squall obviously knew him, but for the life of him, Seifer couldn't imagine how he could've gotten involved with a male at least six years his junior. Well, a little mystery can only add to the boy's attractiveness.

*

_Hands covered in gloves rub lightly up my bare arms, the scent of leather filling my senses. Gripping the narrow waist hidden by belts, I pull him closer to me, making him breath a quiet chuckle. Only I can do that. One hand remains on my shoulder as the other continues its journey to my neck, angling such that his thumb rubs my lower lip and then finds a resting place on my cheek as fingers stroke lightly behind my ear._

_"Would you try something for me?"_

_A dark eyebrow rises in question._

_"I want you to tongue just above my teeth. You know, that piece of skin there."_

_He smirks. "It's called a frenum."_

_"I thought that was on the dick."_

_"That, too."_

_"Is that the result of anatomy people attempting a blowjob joke?"_

_He doesn't reply and instead nibbles on my upper lip while slowly drawing it into his mouth. His tongue slides upward with an awkward feel, but then it comes in contact with the loose flesh. I read somewhere about the potential hot spot, but fuck, I didn't expect this. I wrap my arms around him more for support than closeness, my body suddenly feeling out of control and weak. My thoughts scatter except for one - I'm going to be pissed if I come from only this._

_*_

Taking a long sip of cooling coffee, Seifer tried to find a more comfortable position in the cushioned chair. After his dream from the night previous, he held the vague hope that his latest fantasy wasn't as young as he thought. They seemed to be nearly the same age in the dream, but apparently it was just a simple mind game his brain decided to play on him. Squall was still at school and should arrive for work in, a glance to his watch, another fifteen minutes at the soonest.

"Can I help you?"

He looked up at the woman, recognizing her from the night before. "No, thank you. Just waiting for somebody."

She frowns. "What is it you want with Squall?"

"I do believe that is a matter between us, miss."

Brown eyes harden instantly as Seifer realizes the flattery approach won't work on this woman. "It's Mrs. Richards, and I think it would be best for you to leave."

"I just want to make sure he's okay. Is there something wrong about that?"

"He came in this morning and I assure you that he is fine."

"I prefer hearing that from the source, if you don't mind."

Whatever she was about to say was cut off by the sound of the door opening, Seifer unable to resist a grin at the appearance of the topic of discussion. He immediately came to the conclusion that Squall looked stunning in uniform, even if it did just solidify the fact he was still in high school. His face was neutral as stormy eyes met green, and then he strode forward with a graceful air that demanded attention.

"Leanne, is something wrong?"

Almost reluctantly, she shook her head. "No, sweetie. Let me know if he bothers you."

A glint of light entered the stormy blues. "He won't. Give us a minute."

She obliged the brunette and went to impatiently waiting customers. Meanwhile, Seifer examined the lean figure before him. The boy was hiding it well, but his color was a bit paler than the night before except for vague rings under his eyes. No wonder the owner got on his case - Squall seemed a bit rattled and she could only assume it was the blonde's fault somehow.

"Are you okay, Squall?"

"Hn. Why are you here?"

"Just checking up on my favorite coffee maker. Speaking of which..." He waved the empty cup.

"What do you want?"

"Be creative. You seem to have a knack at knowing what I like."

Stone faced, he nodded and left for the backroom to probably change out of the stiff uniform. Resisting the urge to follow the teen's every move, Seifer instead replayed their rushed kiss in his head. It's been years since he held such a crush-like reaction to any person, and the slightly giddy feeling through his veins was refreshing change.

"Here."

Bright green eyes opened to find a steaming cup of heavenly scented liquid. Making certain their fingers brushed, Seifer took hold of the large mug. A blonde eyebrow raised at the reddish tint to the coffee, but he dared an experimental sip anyway. He didn't bother hiding his surprise.

"Better than the one last night. What is it?"

He shrugged. "No name to it. Just threw some ingredients together. No one else would care for it."

"Are you implying I have bad taste?"

Again, a glint appeared in the blue-gray depths as he smirked then left to do his job.

Watching him walk off, Seifer whispered quietly, "Only I can do that."

"Can do what?"

Quickly hiding any signs that he felt caught in the act of something, he looked up at the dark-haired beauty leaning over him. "Rinoa. What are you doing here, doll face?"

With a smile, she sat on the armrest of his chair, a leg placed none too subtly on his thigh. "Well, I was going to surprise you at work, but your secretary said you had taken the afternoon off. Looks like I made the lucky guess that you would want to check up on the kid from last night."

"Hmm, and what are your plans now that you've hunted me down?"

She took the cup from his hand. "I believe our date was interrupted last night. Care to try again this evening?"

He hesitated, which bothered the blonde. He never hesitated when it came to an offer of some romancing and sex, especially when it involved a lady he had already placed money into with wining and dining.

"Ugh, what is this?" Tongue sticking out, she practically forced the mug back into his hand.

"It was made especially for me. Don't care for it?"

"Too bitter. Now I need water or something."

With a smirk, he waved Squall over for her order. Having both current desires close to him, Seifer made the decision to postpone his plans for Miss Heartily. Frankly, his primary motivation to pursue Rinoa was directly related to her cash flow and business possibilities through her daddy dear. It helped that she was dim enough for Seifer to spend his attention elsewhere for a time and then return to her if things didn't pan out well with the boy.

"Sorry, lovely. I already made plans for the night."

She pouted. "Oh, I see. Well then, I have plenty of daylight left for shopping. Call me." She graced his cheek with a parting kiss.

"I will. Don't give your father a heart attack with the bill."

She winked and walked away with a regal sway. That woman could cause car accidents and never know it.

"I take it she didn't want her order." Holding the colorful drink in one hand while the other fisted on his hip, Squall watched Rinoa leave.

"Since I'm paying for it anyway, why don't you take a break and have the drink for yourself."

"Whatever."

Squall turned and made way for the counter, probably to dump the glass full into the sink. Seifer had the suspicion that the brunette preferred water over anything, especially compared to highly sweet, sugar filled drinks. While it could make him easy to please, it also was a setback in finding something to treat him with. But he had plenty of time to observe Squall and discover the little details about him to even up on the knowledge that the teen seemed to already know about Seifer. His lips curled around the rim of the mug as he made vague plans for winning over the young man.

{Continued}

Author's Note - This idea is based mainly off of two sources, and if you guess them... you can buy your own cookie. ^_- It should be highly interesting to see if I can somehow manage to make this story work. Anywho, if you haven't assumed it already, I've been in a kind of writing slump. I just haven't been in the mood to write much (I blame 'Game Restart'!). Gomen. With that being the case, no promises on when future chapters of any of my stories will appear.


	2. part 2

This is the Last Time  
September 2002

His last chore of the night finished, Squall placed the broom on its hook in the closet. The cafe was dark except for the center lights, the sign on the door already claiming the place closed for the day. Undoing the ties of his apron, he walked into the backroom to toss the stained object into a laundry basin and grab his backpack. Leanne had left hours earlier as usual, but she certainly hadn't forgotten to show her displeasure at the lingering blonde. Squall could've just explained that they somehow knew each other from a different lifetime in which they were committed lovers for years, rivals before that... but he figured it wouldn't go over well with the motherly woman.

With light steps he walked in front of the couch that Seifer had moved to later in the evening and was currently asleep on. The idiot stayed since that afternoon, catching every free moment Squall had during the typical light weeknight crowd. It was strange for him to watch the face he both knew intimately and yet never seen before yesterday. His frame wasn't as muscled as he 'remembered', but then again it's not like there were T-rexaurs on 14th avenue to take care of.

He shook a limp shoulder. "Seifer, time to go."

"Nnn." Eyelids scrunched, attempted to open, then closed discovering light in the room. "What time is it?"

"Almost midnight."

"Fuck. Why did you let me fall asleep?"

"Didn't remember you asking for a wakeup call."

Finally green eyes managed to remain open. "I didn't want to be napping in the middle of a public place to begin with. I guess I'm being kick out now?"

Not waiting for a reply, the large man stood up from the couch directly in front of the brunette. It was so tempting to close that remaining space between them, but Squall took a step back instead. In sight, voice, and scent this was Seifer, but the echo of 'have we met' was clear in his head - the man held no memories of their previous past.

Shutting off all the lights, Squall joined the blonde outside and locked up the cafe for the night. There was a cool breeze in the air, refreshing along his skin. It reminded Squall that it had been weeks since he last visited the beach to relax in blessed moments of voiding out all thought. He decided to remedy that fact over the coming weekend.

"You need a ride home?"

"I can walk."

"I'm certain you can, but wouldn't a car ride be a lot faster? Hate to make your parents worry."

Squall pocketed the set of keys. "I live by myself."

There was a brief pause as Seifer eyed him. "And how does that imply I can't drive you home?"

He couldn't help a small smile in defeat. Taking it as a sign of acceptance, the blonde walked a short distance up the road and pressed the right buttons on his keychain to deactivate the alarm and unlock doors of his car. The vehicle was midnight blue, sporty, and probably cost far too much for its purpose of getting from point A to B. Sliding into the passenger seat, Squall decided that it certainly wasn't comfortable enough for the money either.

The car ride was quiet except for the short directions to his meager apartment. It was rather cheap for the area, had a bathroom, and only a small vermin problem. Squall couldn't imagine a reason to complain. Seifer did.

"You live in this shit-hole?"

"Thanks." He unlocked the door to step out.

Seifer relocked the door. "You're what, seventeen? It's not safe for you to live here alone."

"Not for another couple months, and I've lived here for nearly a year already."

"Let me get you a hotel room for the night. I can find you something better by tomorrow afternoon."

Quickly unlocking door while opening it, Squall pulled himself out of the leather seat to stand up on the cracked sidewalk. Unable to stop the action, Seifer opened his own door to look at the brunette over the roof of the car. Squall glared at him and closed his door.

"I don't need charity."

"But... what if you have another attack?"

"I won't. Goodnight, Seifer."

There was a pause as the man wavered between decisions, but he finally let loose of some pent up air and growled out a parting. Squall was grateful when the man didn't peal out onto the road - he didn't need neighbors to believe him a whore for some wealthy customers. Noticing a waving curtain of a ground floor window, he sighed at the realization that it was probably too late. Well, shit.

Taking two steps at a time, he made it to his third floor room in short time. Happy to note the deadbolts were still in place as he unlocked them, he walked into the studio apartment and set his backpack onto the tan carpet that had seen better days. After relocking the door, he toed off his sneakers and went directly to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Some time later Squall laid back on the mattress (sans frame) and watched the darkened ceiling as sleep once again was eluding him. There was too much to think about that couldn't be blocked out for a decent night of rest. While something had been unlocked within him to remember that odd past, he realized that it would take more than a day to figure out just exactly what fit where. The only things he was vaguely certain about were related directly to Seifer, probably because he was the key to that past. Or, Squall thought, because he meant the most in what seemed a generally bleak life.

It was a lot of work to sort the jumbled memories, everything from trivia type information (card playing tragedies to monster stats) to people and events that meant something personal to Squall. And then there was that dark region of the new memories which were untouchable. Holding the suspicion that it involved his death, Squall was more than happy to pretend that it didn't exist... at least for the moment. Everyone should face their fears.

Lying there in the dark, he let the images and feelings lose within him as tried to fill in pieces of the unbelievable story that was far too detailed to be false. Eventually settling on memories about a time of peace after war, he was soothed into sleep.

*

_I walk up to the form sitting on the light colored sand. One leg is bent, his elbow resting on it to prop up his head as he looks out into the sea. He doesn't show it, but he knows I'm here walking towards him. He wants to run away. But whether because of his stubborn pride or half-starved body, he only sits and stares._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Can't you tell, Leonhart? I'm flying like a bird."_

_I sit next to him though his signal is clear that I'm not wanted. Watching waves break against some dark rocks, I silently bask in the feel of being near Seifer once again. I didn't realize how much losing him felt like a part of me was taken away. An important part of me._

_"After all these months, you've come here to gloat? Trust me, I realize that you're the high 'n' mighty Headmaster of Balamb Garden while I never even made it to SeeD. You should be ashamed, the hero of humanity taking time off to acknowledge the enemy trash that was allowed to live."_

_"Come back."_

_I feel his gaze shift to me. "To the Garden? Like fucking hell. I wasn't wanted before and certainly not now."_

_"No. Come back to me."_

_I look at him, noticing a blue hint to his lips for the first time. As it always is with Seifer, I react before I think. Leaning forward, I press my lips against his and rub my tongue along his bottom lip in the clumsy attempt to bring natural color back to the cracked flesh. Too soon he shoves himself away from me, crawling backwards in the sand to create distance between us._

_"What the fuck was that?"_

_Not liking the horror on his face, I return my gaze to the darkening waters._

_For a long moment there is nothing but the sounds of the waves and an occasional flock of birds. I wish I could break the silence between us, tell him how I've come to conclusion that I need him as a constant in my life, never far from me. But instantly I recognize that it is a selfish request and I can't change the way he wants to live his life. Too many people have tried that on me already._

_He stands up, the sound of falling sand from his clothes almost loud. "Look at me."_

_I do. The clothes he wears are tattered and stained, but I easy identify them as his usual blue vest and dark pants that were turned into shorts. Apparently the trench coat had been lost or stored somewhere safer. Once lightly colored skin is now covered with sunburns and pealing skin that were healing into a dark tan. Blonde hair is twice the length as I remember last, but still rather short with more than just a few strands found their way into his eyes. And those eyes... they seem darker with a kind of pain that a person of his age shouldn't have to bear. While that is typical for the whole group of us that survived Ultimecia, his pain is devouring him inside._

_"Tell me, Leonhart. What do you see?"_

_"Seifer."_

_He blinks then frowns. "That's not what I mean. Stop being a smartass."_

_I stand up from the sand and look directly into his eyes. "Then what do you mean?"_

_Again, I sense he wants to run, but he takes a hesitant step forward instead. "Tell me that I'm weak. A pathetic idiot that can't even resist a simple charm spell that stroked my ego enough to make the killing okay. Remind me how much of a coward I am to run away once my side lost and you..." He fisted his hands. "Tell me how wasteful it is for me even breath the same air as you _heroes_."_

_A small smile comes to my lips. "You are worth everything to me."_

_I can almost see his walls and armor shatter into nothing as his head bows forward. "You weren't supposed to say that," he states quietly._

_And then my arms are around him as he cries silently. There are no tears or hitched breathing, but nonetheless he is crying deep inside. I know the feeling well. As his energy fades, it soon becomes too bothersome to support both our weights and I guide us back down to kneel on the soft sand. He buries his face into the hollow of my neck, but doesn't touch me otherwise as if afraid of my disappearance or maybe of tainting me._

_"You know, I hate you."_

_I don't respond except to continue holding him._

_"I wanted to die so much, but you would always stop me. Usually you were mean to me, but sometimes you'd hold me like this." He sighs. "How do I this is real?"_

_I lean back at that, griping his hair to gently pull his head away from my shoulder. Before he can fear rejection, I retake his dry lips in a silent promise to never leave him behind again. It takes forever, but he finally responds with a shy energy that slowly builds confidence. We kiss._

*

Stepping into the cafe, Squall had the immediate urge to smile but quickly suppressed it, resulting in a twitch like response. Seifer had taken claim of the couch, his large coat draped on the back of the empty half of the furniture. It was strange seeing him sitting there with a thin black binder in hand. Simply, he looked mature. At that moment, Squall really felt the differences in their ages and lives. He wondered if it was wise to fall in love with someone who couldn't possibly be like he was in another lifetime.

Light green eyes were suddenly focused on him. "There you are. I was worried you got mauled in that desolate place of a living arrangement."

"Don't you work?"

"A perk of being the boss. Before you put on the apron, have a seat. I've got some brochures for you to look through." He produced a briefcase from the side of the couch and started shuffling through papers.

"I'm fine."

"Well, I'm not. I could barely sleep last night."

"Why should you care?"

"Don't know. Why'd you kiss me?"

Squall frowned, then he walked pass the couch to change out of his uniform. Seifer didn't stop him, but he also had the teen practically trapped for the next seven hours. Tossing his backpack into the corner of the backroom, he took a deep breath to rid himself of some nervousness. Well, that was one attribute that had remained the same - Seifer was persistent to a fault. But the difference lied in the methods. Before it had been a case of skill versus skill in a fierce duel, finding admiration in each other's will to never surrender. Now it seemed like Seifer's weapon of choice was money. A quiet fear entered Squall's mind that he wouldn't be able to do anything to deserve respect in the blonde's eyes. To him it was as important as seeing love and desire in the green depths.

Uniform exchanged for a dark blue t-shirt and faded black jeans, Squall left the small room to put on an apron. Turning around while he finished tying it, he saw Seifer waving the mug for a refill. With a sigh, he walked over.

"What do you want?"

He pointed at the brochure resting on top of the binder from before. "This place is just a bit further from where you are now, but it's twice the size and has a nice bathroom."

"It also costs three times what I can afford. Your order."

"The Seifer Special, what else?" He frowned. "You really pay that little for an apartment?"

Squall took the empty cup from the loose hold and walked it back to the counter to make the drink. Just after finishing the concoction, he could feel unhappy eyes on him.

"Sweetie, I don't like him hanging around you like this."

"He just gets a bit over zealous."

"You know him?"

He shrugged.

"It isn't healthy. He must be at least twenty-five and look how he dresses. It's like he's made you into a new toy or some kind of hobby to make his free time go quickly."

"I didn't realize you judge people."

"Well, I didn't think you'd fall for someone like that."

"Do you mind?"

Lightly colored eyebrows scrunched. "Have you been listening to me?"

"That I'm bi. Does it bother you?"

Her eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, Squall, no. Of course it doesn't. I may be old, but I understand the changes with time. I just wish... I don't know. Sometimes I forget how young you are, and with him striding in like he has rights to you--"

"I've got coffee to deliver."

He walked around the woman, knowing full well that her lecture wasn't nearly over and wouldn't be for a long time. But with Leanne being closest to the only mother he had, it was a quiet relief that she wasn't bothered by his general preferences. To bad the specific preference of Seifer wasn't agreeing with her.

"Here."

Not even looking, Seifer took the large mug as he pointed to a new brochure. "My father owns these set of apartments, so we could get the price down to nothing, but it's too far for you to be walking around everywhere. I've personally only heard horror stories about the bus system here, but the type of people I unfortunately hang out with would never claim--"

"Seifer. Stop."

He blinked and looked up from the layout diagrams.

"This isn't any of your business."

He started to say something, but caught himself. "You're right. Listen, I've got a dinner to go to, but I was wondering if we could hook up later. It's Friday, so I'm assuming you don't have anything important to get up for in the morning."

"I was planning on the beach."

"Great. I have keys to a nearby beach house. Could you make this to go for me?" He held up the steaming cup of coffee.

Squall couldn't resist an amused smirk at the man's assumption that he would agree to the date. Seifer seemed to catch the expression, winking when the mug was taken from his grasp.

*

Turning the open/closed sign on the door, Squall didn't bother locking it incase the blonde decided to show while he was in the back. With a sigh and a hand through brown locks, he set to the task of cleaning the cafe. Clearing and wiping down a few tables, his thoughts quickly turned to Seifer and the possibilities for that night. He was both anxious and excited, though no one would have been able to tell by his expression. Balancing a tray in one hand, he picked up a half-filled glass of water from a table, the resulting shatter making him drop the rest of his dishes.

* * *

The dinner lasted longer than Seifer expected nor cared for, but business was business even for a Friday night. Parking easily at the entrance of the cafe, he got out of the car and automatically locked and alarmed it as he walked around the vehicle. Not seeing the brunette in plain view, he tried the door and was pleased to find it unlocked for him.

"Squall, you around?" Stepping forward, he jumped a little at the sound of crunching beneath his feet. Small shards of glass littered the floor.

The brunette appears from the back, pan and broom in hand. "Careful. I'm still cleaning it up."

"Are you okay? What happened?"

He shrugged. "Dropped a tray of dishes."

"Did you have another attack?"

Stormy eyes narrowed. "No. Am I not allowed to be clumsy?"

Seifer simply sighed and stepped out of the teen's way. He could tell there was tension under the facade the brunette was holding up, but since he seemed alright physically, there was no reason to press the point for now. Instead he observed Squall as he swept up the broken glass and oddly hesitated before picking up a couple pieces of ice.

"Are you still up for our little outing tonight?"

Some tension evaporated from the body as he nodded.

It took little time for the remaining bits of glass and water to be cleaned off the floor, and apparently Squall had left the chore as the last task to be completed. Soon enough they were in Seifer's car and on the highway towards the beach house he shared with a friend. The guy was on the east coast for the weekend, so Seifer wasn't afraid of any possible interruptions. As with the night before, the ride was silent but not entirely an uncomfortable one.

*

Though afraid to stop the teen from his current strip, Seifer couldn't refrain himself from comment. "You want to go swimming now? It's one in the freaking morning."

The blue shirt was folded and set on the sandy ground. "That was the plan." He unzipped his pants next.

"If you want to drown, go for it. And you do realize how pointless it is to fold that shirt when--" He was cut off by the sight of Squall placing thumbs into both jeans and boxers, pushing the items of clothing down shapely legs.

"Habit, I guess." He folded the jeans, boxers still inside.

Seifer smirked. "I wasn't informed that this was a skinny dipping trip."

He looked up with a completely blasé expression. "You mind?"

In reply, the blonde started to undo the buttons of his shirt while struggling to maintain his own neutral appearance. Not waiting, Squall turned towards the dark water and walked into the surf without a flinch to the undoubtedly freezing temperature. Pausing in his task, Seifer watched as the teen bent over to cup some of the salty water into his hands and pour it on himself. Arching like that in the moonlight, he didn't appear as young as his years. There was an assured air about the brunette, that he has and would continue to handle anything thrown at him.

Taking advantage of the turned back, Seifer took off his clothes with rushed movements and then strode quickly to join Squall. Cursing quietly and hopping a bit with his steps, he made his way through the frigid water. Squall was already about chest level with the water when he dived under a decent sized wave. Being years since the last time he actually went swimming in the ocean, it took Seifer a bit of time to reach the brunette who ended up waiting for him on a sandbar further out.

Standing up, the water was barely waist level as he stood a small distance from Squall. The dark hair was still trying vainly to stick out despite the weight of water, a small piece of seaweed trapped in the locks. Stepping forward, he picked it out of the hair and returned it to the ocean. Glancing further down, he met up with eyes full of deep blue. The moment passed between them as silent words of lust, love, and belonging were shared before Seifer found himself kissing the smaller man.

It was a uniquely satisfying experience kissing in that spot, the flow of the tide forcing the two bodies to press and grind against each other in almost teasing movements. And then there were the infrequent times when a larger wave would nearly knock them into the salty water together. Seifer couldn't remember the last time he laughed into a kiss, enjoying the feel of the reciprocating half-smile from Squall. _Only I can do that._

Reluctantly, Seifer pulled back from tasting the brunette. "Before I come up with even more lecherous ideas in my head, just how far are we going tonight?"

He stiffened within the hold. "I have something to figure out. Can you wait a couple days?"

Holding back a laugh, he grinned instead. "Oh, I guess I can suffer. That's why there are two rooms made up for tonight. But what do you have to figure out? Maybe I can help you."

"I'm not sure. I just need some time."

"Not sure? About us?"

He smiled slyly. "No. That I'm certain about."

Deciding to let the boy be mysterious, Seifer restarted the kiss. While he may not be able to relieve himself as he would truly like to that night, he was fairly positive that if Squall would do that tongue thing of his again, he might be able to cum right there.

*

_I can almost feel him before I hear the light footsteps on sand approaching from behind._

_"Why didn't you come back after the test?"_

_"Phft. I know I didn't pass. No reason to show up." And I didn't want to see his disappointed face. He went through hell getting me back into Garden and I can't even pass the SeeD exam yet again. Maybe this time he'll finally see the pathetic idiot I am._

_His arms come around me, something reflecting moonlight from the hand held in front of me. "Congratulations. You've made SeeD starting at level 5."_

_"What? Squall, you didn't--"_

_"It wasn't my decision. The instructors all know you've worked hard this past year, acing almost every written test. And the SeeDs that oversaw the examination today clearly recognized that you were doing the right thing. It's not your fault you got placed under an arrogant team captain."_

_"I punched him."_

_"You forced him out of a field of battle that was too much for him. You saved his life."_

_"I _punched_ him."_

_"You tried repeatedly to talk him out. Time was of the essence and you made a split second decision."_

_I sigh. "Are you sure you didn't have a hand in this?"_

_"I wouldn't lie to you."_

_No, he wouldn't. Squall is the only one I can trust to be honest with me. With a shaky hand, I take the SeeD bars from his hand. I did it._

_"There is a housing problem, though. Seems you got assigned to a double."_

_I lean a bit to the side in the attempt to see his face. "Oh?"_

_"You can change it later if you want."_

_Holding back the unusual child-like giddiness that wants to explode from me, I make certain my voice is serious. "Do you really want to deal with the scandal that it will cause?"_

_"The people I care about already know about us and have accepted it by now. Fuck everyone else."_

_I have to laugh. "You've been spending too much time around me."_

_"Anyhow, they'd probably just think I'm keeping an eye on you." His hand drifts downward and ghosts the crotch of my pants. "Which I'll certainly be doing."_

_"Fuck." I arch back, giving his lips access to my throat._

_"Shall I show you to your new room?"_

_"Don't think I can make it." High on the news of making SeeD and moving in with Squall, my senses are already on overload from such light touches._

_"Too bad." And that's when he pulls away from me to walk back to the Garden._

_"Fucking tease," I growl while trying to find enough equilibrium to stand up._

_"That's Headmaster Fucking Tease to you."_

_"And I do know how much of a _Head_master you are."_

_He stills completely at the statement. "You've lost a level for that one." And he stalks off._

_I smirk as I try to catch up. Puberty boy could never handle a good sexual pun._

*

Seifer part walked, part stumbled down the stairs. Dressed in only pajama bottoms, he scratched sleep tousled hair as he looked into the kitchen. Squall had the fridge open, apparently deciding on breakfast. Seifer decided that he wanted the brunette to wear his shirts more often, the oversized clothing making him look more sensual somehow.

"What's on the menu?"

He backed up from the fridge, a pitcher in hand. "Looks like orange juice and bagels. Both seem fresh."

"They better be since they were delivered this morning."

Squall gave the blonde a glance that seem to state frustratingly 'rich people!'. He went to the cabinet to grab two glasses for the juice. The teen was already in waiter mode, not that Seifer minded being waited on.

"You sleep well?"

That made him smile as much as was physically possible for the brunette. "Yeah. Did I wake you?"

"Thankfully. Hate to miss out on breakfast."

As Squall had requested, they didn't go further than heavy petting and kissing. And though it was a bit torturous for Seifer, they ended up sharing the large bed upstairs. The blonde never imagined himself the cuddling type, always throwing lovers out of bed before they got too comfortable within his personal space. But he was rapidly coming to the conclusion that things won't be the same with Squall. There was that strange sense of belonging and need between them that made Seifer want to hold onto him and not let go.

And then there were the two dreams he'd had thus far. The need for Squall in them was stronger felt along with trust. While he didn't understand the dreams and was rather baffled by the continuation of that time and place, he decided his subconscious was doing its best to point out the good thing that had just started between them. Seifer just hoped he wasn't going to mess this one up.

As Seifer sat down in his seat, Squall poured orange juice into the cups. He took one by his finger tips, the glass suddenly shattering outward. Startled, Seifer jumped back, the chair falling to the ground and between his legs as he somehow remained standing. A cylinder of frozen orange juice rolled off the table and broke in half when hitting the tiled floor, one piece rolling next to his bare foot.

He looked up to Squall, the brunette standing there with his hand still spread to grasp the nonexistent glass. Only slightly widen eyes belied his neutral mask.

"What the fuck just happened?"

Squall clenched his hand into a fist, setting the pitcher of orange juice down. "I don't know."

Eyeing the table covered with shards of glass, Seifer was mildly impressed. The liquid must have frozen instantly to spread outward before the barrier of the cup could force the ice up. It explained Squall's uneasy edge when he showed up last night. The ice must have been remains of whatever got frozen in the glass to break it.

"Well, now I see why you didn't want to touch me last night. I could've lost something important. Sorry if I ended up sounding pissy when I should've been thanking you."

"This isn't funny."

"No, it isn't. Careful of the glass and come over here."

"I should clean--"

"No. Come on."

Once in range, Seifer grabbed his arm and dragged him to the couch of the connecting entertainment room. Sitting down, he forced him next to his side and then held him tightly while Squall clasped his hands in the effort to not directly touch the blonde. It had been invisible to the eye, Seifer could now feel the mild shakes of the lean body. Squall was more frightened of this than he wanted to admit. He waited for the quivers to subside before questioning the teen.

"Has this happened before last night?"

His shook his head.

"Do you have any idea why now?"

A pause. "I'm not sure."

"Okay. Then do you know how you are doing it? Could you consciously do it?"

"I don't know." Frustration was lacing the words.

"All right, all right. Just close your eyes for a moment and relax."

Squall glanced at him with skepticism, but followed the order as his eyelids closed and he slumped against the broad shoulder. Leaning back into the couch, Seifer placed a hand on cool skin and massaged the stiff neck. He didn't like this. He was used to having easy answers that could be somehow solved with money or pure determination. This... it was just out of his scope of thought.

There was little warning as Squall tensed then stood up from couch and stumbled forward.

"Squall, what's wrong?"

He turned to Seifer, a wild look to his eyes. "She... she wants out."

"She? Who are you talking about?"

"I... Sorry, I can't..." 

Squall closed his eyes and wrapped arms around himself in a defensive hug. Streams of mist circled around him while his mouth moved in silent words, the mist gaining density. Seifer stood up from the couch, his eyes locked onto the cloud appearing in his living room as the temperature dropped steadily. By the time he was able to collect himself enough to consider grabbing Squall from that spot, he was stilled by another sight - a sleek blue leg stepped from the mist, soon followed by the form of an otherworldly woman.

"About time he listened to my call."

Green eyes widen in awe and part fear, Seifer stood dumbstruck at the beauty before him.

She smiled seductively. "Child of Ifirit. We meet again."

Standing up straighter, the blonde closed off all emotions and let his calmer business side take over. "I'm afraid the disadvantage is mine. I don't remember ever meeting."

"Would you like to remember?" With cat-like grace, she walked up to the large man. Her arm resting on his bare shoulder, a cold hand fingered messy blonde strands. "Do you want to remember everything about Squall and your past?"

The creature out of the way, he set eyes on the brunette now kneeling and slumped over. He didn't appear conscious. "What did you do to him?"

"He is fine. The first summon is always hard on the body."

"He had better be fine." Seifer returned his attention to the face too close to his. "This proposition of yours, what is your gain?"

"The child is stronger with you. For him to depend on you, you must understand your past."

He smirked. "How do I know I'm not dealing with a demon here. I should warn you that I don't have much of a soul to speak of."

"Yes or no, boy. I haven't much time."

Seifer found an odd hint of desperation in the cool eyes, her hand not completely steady behind his head. He looked back to where Squall rested, then sneered and replied without losing sight of the teen. "Do your worst."

The creature smiled happily and leaned up to whisper in his ear. "He missed you."

Seifer didn't have time to consider the words as his vision of the world disappeared and were replaced by unceasing images that seemed to flow around him. It hurt to watch it, especially random pictures of Squall injured and somehow knowing it was by his hand. The light of the images was slowly dimming as he realized blissful peace was coming. His last thought was to wonder what he had done.

{Continued}

Author's Note - La dee da, another chapter done during a momentary spike of motivation. Ack, how did it get so long? *mumble* I was going to keep the chapters shorter. *mumble* 

Anyhow, good luck to those still working on cookie privileges. If one influence isn't obvious yet, it should be next chapter (well, I think it'll be obvious since I know the answer). The other one is kind of a mood setting type influence, so I'll be mildly surprised if you get that one. And no, the title has nothing to do with these. I just happened to be listening to Fuel when I came up with the idea. 

Since it's been mentioned in a few of the reviews, just want to say that the frenum (or frenulum) in the mouth is indeed a potential hot spot. It's a "potent kiss" of Tantric techniques. The way I've read it is for mainly women to have the frenum stimulated while focusing on her clitoris for a full body sensation (apparently orgasm can be reached), but men can also experience much pleasure from the technique. This is an either you love it or hate kissing method, and I decided Seifer loves it. ^_- As for the bad blowjob joke, I was making certain my terminology was correct when I instead found a ton of webpages about penis piercing through the frenum. The 'official' definition of frenum is actually "a membranous fold of skin or mucous membrane that supports or restricts the movement of a part or organ". Of course Seifer just had to comment on the terminology use.


	3. part 3

Author's note - Just so you don't get too confused, dream sequences have been and will continue to be out of order. I'm trying to fit them more so with the present scene than a past timeline.

This is the Last Time  
September 2002

He was afraid of getting too close. Seifer laid out on the bed, absolutely gorgeous in sleep while still dressed in only loose cotton pants, and Squall couldn't bring himself to move from his spot leaning next to the open doorway. There wasn't a clock in the room to tell him how long he had been standing there, but he didn't care either. All Squall knew was that Seifer was unconscious and it was his fault. The temptation to run was foremost in his thoughts, but he had to at least make sure the blonde was all right.

Staring at the carpet, Squall frowned. He really didn't like not knowing what happened. That _thing_... Shiva had practically demanded to be released from the bindings he never realized he held on her. He wasn't able to refuse. In the momentary lack of judgment, Squall had trusted the guardian force to do what she needed. Instead, he had wakened to find Seifer sprawled on the floor and dead to the world. The teen could only breathe again when he had discovered the man's pulse blessedly strong and steady.

Hugging himself, Squall shuddered at the remembered feel of Shiva passing through him and the thought of losing Seifer.

"If you're cold, get over here."

He looked up at the deep tone, finding heavy lidded eyes and a sly smirk. "Are you okay?"

"Nn, let me get back to you on that one. How about you?"

"I'm fine."

A quiet chuckle. "You say that a lot, you know. Especially when you are definitely _not_ fine. Would you just come over here already?"

"I should go."

"Sorry, no guilt trip for Squally-boy. Get the fuck over here."

"W, what?"

His green eyes seemed to shine. "You heard me. I want to snuggle with my frigid Ice Prince so start moving those feet."

Only due to his stunned mindset did Squall follow the order to the point of walking up to the bedside, but he kept his hands contained within crossed arms to resist touching the man. Taking advantage of dazed brunette, Seifer wrapped strong arms around the exposed waist and used his body weight while rolling to pull Squall over him and to his side on the bed. His head bouncing once on the pillow, some clarity returned to Squall.

"You remember."

"More like still remembering. There's basically of mount of crap in my head that will take a lot of time to sort through."

"But you recall those nicknames."

"You bet. The most important things were easy to single out."

"And annoying me is that important."

"Mmm, along with other things." A large hand traveled downward until reaching below the boxers Squall wore, unusually soft skin massaging the back of his thigh. "Do you still have that weak spot right about...here?"

There was no need to vocally reply, Squall arching into the half-clothed man before him as a thumb rubbed firmly behind his knee. It became automatic at that point, unsatisfied need for the blonde flooding out of the smaller man as he took claim of smirking lips. There was so much he wanted Seifer to do to him and visa versa, the desperation clear in his muffled moans. The logical thought that they would have plenty of time for those things evaded him. Only the realization that he's lived too long without this entered his mind.

Warmth left his leg as the large hand came to his cheek to aid Seifer in breaking the kiss. "Squall... Fuck, take a breather for a second here. I'm not going anywhere."

Eyes deeply colored with blue locked to his. "You always say that."

"And I mean it. Just, which room are we in? I'd rather have a condom on hand than need to run around in an uncomfortable state."

Squall was slightly taken back, already forgetting the differences between two times. There was no spell to cure diseases within a second here, and it would be unfair to assume Seifer had waited around for him. He hadn't remembered their past, nor had Squall for that matter.

"I didn't want to risk carrying you upstairs. This is the first bedroom from the kitchen area."

"That actually might be for the better. Check the nightstand. I wouldn't be surprised if some lube was in there with condoms."

Daring to leave the heated body, Squall pushed back to have enough room to get on hands and knees in order to crawl towards the nightstand. He was pleased by the feel of green eyes virtually devouring him. Seifer had a thing about watching, and while Squall could handle minor things like this, it would take a night full of pleading from the blonde to get him to do anything more... demonstrative. Opening the drawer, it certainly wasn't difficult to find what he wanted.

"Any flavor preference?"

Seifer choked a bit. "Damn, I didn't think he was that active. Um, I'll leave the choice to you."

Not caring himself, he grabbed something that didn't sound fruity. "Who is 'he'?"

"The guy I share this beach house with. He stumbles onto his ass whenever it comes to women, and they completely fall for the helpless look every time. He brings out their motherly instincts or something. Aside from the ladies, though, he can't resist an exotic type look on men."

Crawling back to Seifer, the teen leaned over him with a vague smile. "Sounds like Laguna."

"Oh, have I mentioned him?"

For several moments Squall was frozen, grin and all. Then slowly he sat back on his heels and stared about five inches to the side of Seifer's face.

"What? If you think we're an item or something--"

"Laguna, Seifer. He was my father."

"Now, wait a minute. We met in the orphanage..." Lying down on his back, he massaged a temple. "...And you found him during the war. Fuck."

"Who else?"

He could feel Seifer hesitate, whether for thought or another reason he wasn't sure. "I think I've met up with just about everyone. Fuu and Rai went to my high school. Moved to Washington to get married and run some kind of fishing operation. Zell was also at that school, though I never thought of calling him Chickenwuss. Would've been more embarrassing for me to say it, I would think. Met Quisty in college and she's working hard to become the haughty Dr Trepe. God, Selphie is my secretary. Damn good one, too. No one can get angry at her puppy eyes when I refuse a meeting. You saw Rinoa, but I'm not sure about Cowboy."

"And Laguna..."

"Was my roommate in the fraternity. He's a goof but a likable one at that. The guy has a way of cheering you up with those damn stories of his. He's either going to be a politician or write a few books." He chuckled. "Well, damn. Maybe I should start pushing him in the direction of the presidency."

"He's your age."

"Yeah. Not even a month off from each other."

His chest felt heavy and constricted as he continued to avoid eye contact with the blonde. He could feel himself shutting down inside, an unstoppable chain reaction as thick defenses rose. Needing space, Squall moved for the edge of the bed. He should've expected the arm that stopped him. 

"Don't you dare close up on me. Talk."

"... ..."

"You know I can wait this out as long as you."

And as before the blonde walked through the mental walls as if they meant nothing. "I guess... I thought there might be the vague chance to find family now."

"You're an orphan?"

"Don't sound so surprised."

"Sorry, but none of us... I didn't think..."

Squall wanted to laugh at that little jewel of information. Of course. Why should fate bother tormenting more than one soul throughout several lifetimes. He supposed that it gets hard to stay creative with the same material. The worst part being that fate wasn't even trying to be very original.

"Seifer, I want to go home now."

There was a brief pause before he sighed. "I understand. Just let me get some clothes on."

*

_It took a few weeks, but here I am sitting in the visitor room while waiting for the President of Esthar to get a moment of free time. He told me just before the last battle that he had something he wanted to talk to me about. That was truly horrid timing. I've spent my time since the end of the war getting readjusted while aiding in the clean up of the Lunar Cry mess. Headmaster Cid has already offered me the position as his successor to Balamb Garden, but I haven't taken him up on it. By the look of his eyes, though, I swear he has me pegged for the job already. Whatever._

_In an attempt to escape, I used the President's request as an excuse. I swear, if he only wants me as a supporter for his next election, I'm out of here._

_The door opens, and I'm surprised to see the man in person as he walks in slowly perhaps favoring an injury. Well, great. I make him nervous. From a brief look over, there is a strange mix of tiredness and anxious energy to his youthful face._

_"Squall Leonhart. It's good to see you again. Ah, if you don't mind I thought we could talk downstairs instead of in the office. There's a small garden and I really could use the fresh air."_

_I shrug and then stand up from the couch to follow his lead._

_The garden is lovely and has a calming feel to it. Among the flowers, bushes, and trees are a couple stone benches, one of which the President walks directly to. I go instead to stand in front of the fountain that is several feet ahead of him. The image of Shiva stands in the center of the fountain, arches of water imitating her frozen attack._

_"Do you like it?"_

_I glance back at him, then return to study the fountain. "It's well made."_

_"She always made me feel stronger when Ellone focused your powers through to me."_

_I pause long enough to grant the man his momentary evasion of the topic I came for. "What did you wish to speak to me about, Mr. President."_

_"Please, it's Laguna. And well... there's no good way to say this but... Squall, I think I'm your father."_

_Blinking at the foreign concept, I turn my back on the fountain to look at him. "What?"_

_"I'm your father. We should probably do blood tests to be certain, but I'm fairly positive about this." I have to give the man credit for keeping eye contact with me. "You've seen my past so no need to go into details, but you are Raine's child. And my son."_

_Brief memories from when Ellone used us to see the past came to mind, and there were definite possibilities, but... Being an orphan for eighteen years, one tends to think that parents are for other people, not you. Some man walking into your life and calling himself 'father' was a mere dream that you can only handle as a child. Even then, it hurt to imagine the chance that Daddy or Mommy would come to take you home, knowing it wasn't really going to happen._

_"I... There is no excuse for abandoning you, and certainly not your mother when she needed me. I wish..." He sighed, suddenly looking his age. "Well, that's what I had to tell you. I understand if you want nothing to do with this, but I thought you deserved to know at least who your parents were."_

_I turn back around to face the stone image of Shiva, though I don't focus on her. I barely remember childhood, but seem to recall making plans of what to do once I found my parents. It depended on my mood whether I'd be furious at them or laugh in joy. But the scenarios always ended the same way - 'will you leave me again?' I have never been able to imagine them saying that they wouldn't desert me for anything. Even in my fantasies I could only recognize it as a false promise._

_"Is... ah, do you have questions or anything for me? Personally I think I deserve a good yell out or a decent pounding."_

_"... ..." No, the anger isn't there for that._

_"Or, maybe, we could try... um, bonding or something."_

_Slowly I turn to sit on the edge of the fountain. "Why would you want me now?"_

_His eyes widen. "It's never been a case that I didn't _want_ you. Just... well, could you imagine me with a child? I can barely take care of myself, and I need Kiros and Ward for even that." A hand went to the back of his neck in a nervous motion. "All those years ago, I made a choice. It may have been the wrong one, but it had to be made...and logically."_

_Well, that's one thing I can relate to. How many decisions have I made for the ultimate end while forgetting my personal desires._

_He stands up. "I know saying sorry won't cut it for this situation, but I do regret not watching you grow up. Raine would be so proud of you. I know I am. Um, you may never want it, but there will always be a room for you here. In case you need to escape some duties for a while." He waits a moment for a response, but at my silence he turns to leave. My father is about to leave me again._

_"Wait. Laguna. I'm not good at this type of stuff, but if... if you want..."_

_He looks at me with a confused expression that slowly evolves into a wide, goofy smile. "I would love the chance to be a real father."_

_"Then, I guess I can try to be a son."_

_He laughs lightly and then hobbles over to stand close to me, but thankfully not touching. I'm not ready for that just yet. "Squall, if you can, think of this as another home. You can come to me no matter the problem. My door will always be open to you."_

_I find myself smiling. "Kind of soon for that, without test results."_

_His face becomes serious. "While I'm rather certain about this, if it turns out I made a mistake... Well, I'll just have to adopt you."_

_*_

Squall scowled at the closed doors before him, mentally demanding them to open faster. A car and driver had been sent by Seifer to pick him up from the cafe, the man calling earlier with the cryptic message that he couldn't leave the office but he really needed a word with him. What was it about the blonde that 'no' was never a viable answer. His day was interrupted for this meeting, and Squall was a person of set schedules. His only thought was that this better be good.

The elevator doors slid open revealing a plush office that Squall walked into without realizing he should feel out of place in the room.

"May I help you?" His eyes widened slightly at seeing Selphie behind a desk, the woman looking elegant in a dark dress suit and her hair hanging straight, cut so that it just brushed shoulder level. Her smile was friendly in every way, but Squall knew she wielded her innocent looks as well as any weapon.

"I'm here to see Seifer."

She blinked and straightened a bit, her smile even wider. "Seifer, is it? You must be Squall to call him by first name. He told me that you have priority one to go ahead inside."

After the muffled buzz of Selphie unlocking the door, Squall strode into the adjoining room. Appearing to not have noticed the entrance, Seifer looked out the window and to the city below while speaking into a headset. Not upset enough to interrupt the man's call, Squall sat down in a leather chair and studied his profile. It was strange seeing the two sides of the man - his mind molded for shrewd business while the heart was of a crude teenager. It was difficult for him to believe such a mix could exist.

"...You have until tomorrow 4pm to accept or reject the offer. Frankly, I couldn't care either way." Pressing a button to disconnect the line, he removed the earpiece. "Squall, thanks for coming even though you have work. Tell me, when is your birthday?"

Blue-gray eyes narrowed. "You dragged me over for this?"

"Humor me."

A short staring match ensued before Squall relented. "May 25th."

Seifer sighed loudly, but visible tension wasn't relieved by the action. "Well, looks like I won't need Selphie to remind me when your birthday is." He picked up a sheet of paper from the desk, handing it over to the brunette.

"What is this?"

"A calendar." He sat down in the large chair behind his desk. "I was thinking a bit about the whole Laguna thing, wondering why he would be the same age as me. One thing led to another... Squall, do you know what happened about ten years after I came back to the Garden?"

"No," he answered distractedly. Looking at the sheet, he immediately saw what had caught Seifer's interest. The calendar was labeled with birthdates of the people that had been important to them in the past, even Irvine's birthday had been discovered. All were born within the same year, the dates occurring every three weeks on the mark.

"Well, I can't even remember the actual Ultimecia incident. I only know the details as told to me, but if I had memories of it as well, I can't touch them. The same starting about a decade afterwards. And then there are those dates. Only two people don't fit the schedule - Rinoa and you. She's about six months younger than me. Nothing exact about the day as related to the others. Meanwhile you are seven years younger than all of us and share my day of birth."

_I can never repent for my sins and I don't even care to. My_ _so-called destiny is done with as you demanded and I have nothing else left in my life._ _ Kill me now or leave me to finish the task myself. If you choose to interfere, remember first the blood already on my hands._

Squall barely noticed the sheet slipping from his hand as he stood up to leave. "I have to go."

A pause. "All right. Tell the driver where you want to be taken to. But Squall." Hard green eyes demanded attention. "Promise me that you won't run from this."

He returned with an icy glare. "I don't run."

* * *

Watching the brunette storm off, Seifer wondered what the teen thought he was doing at this moment if not running. But it wasn't as if he were one to talk. More and more of the memories had come into focus, so many of them involving him walking away from his troubles instead of facing them. He didn't believe Matron loved him and knew of Squall's hatred, so he went to train at the Garden. Every time he failed the SeeD exam, he'd leave the Garden for days to pick fights in Balamb. Of course there was running away from the Garden into a Sorceress's arms, and then attempting to escape the shame of those events into oblivion.

But Squall always came after him.

"What did you do to scare that cutie off?"

Seifer looked up to find his secretary frowning at him while she leaned on the back of the chair Squall had left vacant. "Just being myself. It tends to do the trick."

"Don't you give me that. For two days I made excuses so you could be with that man, and you never place a fling over work."

"When did I start paying you for lecturing me?"

"I gave myself a raise on Friday while you were apartment hunting. Now spill."

He wanted to respond to her full-heartedness, but he couldn't find it in him. "Selph, I love you but this isn't the time."

She straightened at the tone, but smiled in defiance of the threatening edge. "I'll phase out calls for you. Let me know if you want anything."

A slight grin did form then. 'Leave it to Selphie' was a common phrase that entered his mind during the week.

He turned the chair around to face the large window, the expanse of city not as relaxing as it usually was. Seifer was beginning to doubt it was a good idea to tell Squall so soon about the pattern of birthdates. He wasn't certain if it was his cynical side showing through, but it looked too much like an execution schedule for comfort. And it couldn't be coincidence that the two people closest to Squall died last. Someone was trying to get to the brunette. Someone strong enough to kill SeeDs and the president of Esthar when the people must have seen it coming.

Seifer told himself that the teen had to be prepared for those memories to return at anytime. But more so, there was the echo of Shiva's words that he made Squall stronger. He couldn't believe the guardian force would appear merely to help a pair of lovers. Seifer hated being manipulated, and yet in that past he continually found himself being led around by a tightening noose. He could almost feel the constriction on his throat now, and he didn't like it at all.

*

_The darkened room is nice. Not even much sound makes it's way past the doors of my room (a single, since who would want to live with someone that could kill you in your sleep). Sitting on the floor, my back to the bed, I roll a bottle of pills around on the worn carpet. __A sharp rap sounds in the room, the fifth time today someone has come to check on me. I don't even have the urge to even tell them to go away. Despite my lack of answer, the door slides open, the hallway light hurting my eyes. It's worse when the switch is flipped on._

_"What the fuck?" Eyes soon adjusting to the sudden brightness, I look to the side. "I wasn't answering the door for a reason, you know."_

_Squall stands there, one hand fisted on his hip and the other holding a plastic bag. "I brought dinner."_

_"And I care?"_

_"Yes." He takes a container from the bag and sets it on my lap with a plastic fork and napkin. A can of soda follows shortly after. "Eat."_

_I glare at his tone, but refrain from immediate comment when he surprisingly sits on my bed and takes out his own container of food. "So why do I have the privilege of being babysat by you, mighty Headmaster? Don't you have better offers for your time?"_

_"No, I don't." And he starts into some fried noodles._

_Damn it, I wasn't hungry minutes ago. Why did he have to show up and ruin my mood. Moving to lean back against the wall thus in better position to see Squall, I dig into the meal he brought, my first since the other day. Funny how food isn't so necessary when you're sulking around the Garden with your head down. It gets hard to remember why I came back here. And when I do, I wish I had forgotten. Squall is important to me, but not how he wants it to be. That kiss... fuck, I was only reacting to his warmth and my need for contact. Hate to admit that it was nice, but it certainly wasn't something I meant to do._

_"Listen, Leonhart. About last week--"_

_"You're not gay. I know."_

_I almost drop my dinner onto the floor. "Then why did you fucking kiss me?"_

_"I hadn't seen you in months. And well, sorry, I can't choose who I fall in love with."_

_"What the hell do you know about love, Ice Prince. And why me?"_

_He sighs. "Does it bother you?"_

_"Yes!"_

_His outward appearance doesn't change in the slightest, but I can sense something retreating in the man. Sweet Hyne, the one person who trusts me in this whole damned world and I have to shove him away. Truthfully his feelings for me doesn't bother me _that _much, but this is Squall. He can't get more wrapped up in trash like me._

_"Get out of here, Leonhart."_

_He stands up from the bed as if to follow my order, but looms over me instead. "What do you want, Seifer? Is it too hard for you here at the Garden? Do you want to run away from here?" He toes the bottle of pills. "Do you want out?"_

_"You don't have a fucking clue."_

_He sneers at me, a chill running through my blood. "Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea. At least you were under the control of Ultimecia. Meanwhile, _children_ died under me because of my incompetence and no other reason. People may _revere_ me now, but one slip and my head will be the first to fly. Didn't you know, heroes make great scapegoats. It's just loads of fun to raise a person up on a pedestal and then watch how far they fall."_

_I shut my mouth that had hung open at some part of his rant. His eyes flash with cold fire, an intensity that was rare in the silent man. ...Ah, I never realized. He doesn't reveal those unending thoughts of his. He doesn't lose control of his emotions. He doesn't talk about falling in love. But with me, he does. Only me._

_His voice lightens. "I know it's hard for you here. The exit is wide open for you at any time, but I can't promise that I won't follow."_

_"You're the Headmaster here. You can't just leave to chase after me." And not the way I've been planning it. No, Squall is too good for that._

_"I promised that I wouldn't leave you."_

_"What? When?"_

_A small smile comes to his lips, one of those mysterious 'I know everything' looks that used to irritate me. But there is no mocking edge to the smile that I had thought I'd seen in it months and lifetimes ago. I almost feel like he is about to share a secret, but remains silent. Doesn't matter. I think I know the answer._

_"That kiss... it was your promise?"_

_"You are everything, Seifer. Don't doubt that about me."_

_He walks out of my unmoving line of vision, the sound of the door sliding open and shut registering to my ears. How can he leave a room like that and yet still be felt? Shit. Ten minutes. I start off disgusted with the idea that Squall would want to jump me in my own room and then ten minutes later I end up with a slight ache in my chest because he strode off without trying something. Just what the hell _do_ I want?_

_A knock to the door confuses me enough in my thinking state to answer it without remembering that I don't feel like seeing anyone. Quisty stands before the opening, a forced smile on her lips. Sweet girl. She's been trying so hard to accept my return, but it isn't easy to forget being betrayed and hurt._

_"Seifer, you missed my class today. For your sake, there had better be a good reason. After everything Squall has done for you--"_

_"Quisty, got a question for you," I interrupt, hearing the 'Squall is fighting the world just for you' lecture two times today already. "What would you say if I'm afraid that I am falling for a moody brunette with a tight ass?"_

_I laugh at getting the first honest reaction from the blonde in weeks as she looks at me with utter confusion._

_*_

Peering over the closed sign, Seifer could see the brunette curled up in the couch of the cafe. He was tempted to just stand there and watch Squall for a little longer, but if he had his way he'd rather a closer view of the sleeping teen. It was almost a week after their interrupted beach trip, two days since the brief meeting. Deciding he had given Squall enough time to process the facts and his feelings through that wandering mind of his, Seifer had come to take what he wanted. Knuckles on glass quickly woke him, but then the teen took his time to unlock the door.

"Seifer..."

The blonde smiled down at him, finding amusement in one of his unchanging qualities. Squall had never relented to the frequent bursts of temper as Seifer tried to force the man to find someone more worthy of his devoted attention. Thousands of attempts, every one of them shattering with the simple words, 'you are everything'. But every now and again the brunette would get it into his head that he had to protect Seifer from Squall himself. It once took him a week to find the hiding man. Squall's tone now was enough to tell the blonde that he was of that mindset at this moment.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

Red flag number two. "Well, I have some bad news. You're being evicted from your apartment."

"_What?_"

"Something about loud parties every night and the open door orgies being bothersome to the neighbors. Or was it the rats that couldn't get decent sleep. Anyhow, you can stay with me until we find you a new place."

His eye softened once realizing the man's intention. "Seifer, I shouldn't."

"I don't give a damn about that." Placing a hand into brown locks, he brought Squall close to him and spoke quietly into his ear. "I know this won't be easy for us, but in reality our relationship has never been something uncomplicated."

"... ..."

"Squall, I know how much you protected me during those first few months. Quistis told me about the contracts for my death that other Gardens accepted, but you kept me safe. Hell, I even saw a guy pee his pants from the fear of your wrath. He should've never been a candidate for Headmaster in Esthar." Seifer smiled at hearing Squall breathe a chuckle at the memory. "More importantly, you protected me from myself. I only lived for you, wishing for a chance to repay you for my life and for your love. Please. Let it be my turn to protect you."

After a few heartbeats, hands pushed against his chest and he looked into stormy eyes shifting in color. "What if it was me? What if I killed all of you as a part of some duty?"

Blinking at the change in subject, Seifer realized it was this theory that had been the cause of trouble for the teen. The scenario had never entered the blonde's mind, but there was logic to the idea. He was certainly someone strong enough to kill prepared SeeDs. And the persons most important to Squall could have died last because they were the hardest for him to kill. There was some sense to it, except for one major flaw--

"It wasn't in you to do that. Hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are a good guy. Good guys don't kill their friends, family, and lovers."

"But..."

Seifer covered the open mouth with a quick, forceful kiss in the attempt to stop Squall from vocalizing his thoughts - 'but then, what if you died because I existed'. He was relieved that the cheap move worked in quieting him. While he knew he would hear the words later, for now he wanted to finish his mission for the night.

"Live with me. Don't leave my side."

Cool eyes studied him before a lopsided smile appeared. "I've been evicted, huh?"

{Continued}

Author's Note - Nooo, I don't have other stories to continue along... *sigh* Why can't motivation have a directional button?

So far a big piece of cookie goes to Twiggy for guessing one of my primary influences for this story - 'Smallville'. Just recently got sucked into that slash fandom, and you have to love really rich characters that can do whatever the hell they want. ^_- Morrigan gets a small piece of cookie w/ a chocolate chip for recognizing Leanne as basically Debbie (Mike's mom) from 'Queer as Folk', but certainly not so vocal with gay pride and such. Still about a half a cookie left for what I really based this fic on, though.


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